I’m Wondering Why

I do a lot of blog reading.  I enjoy it.  I follow people who are amazing.  Some people are so talented, whether it be through their culinary skills, their decorating skills, craft ideas.  Some are so hard-working I can’t even keep up with them.  Because I am such a dog person I follow blogs about dogs and some written by dogs.  They just make me smile.

Today as I was blog hopping, I happened upon two different blogs in which each young mother lost her very young child to an incurable illness.  As I read each entry, I just cried and cried.  I couldn’t imagine their pain, nor did I really want to.  One thing struck me though – in both instances each mother spoke of feeling so blessed, even in their grief.  They were not bitter nor angry at God, in fact they each felt so grateful that their child was free from pain and sprouting their angel wings.  I saw their strength and it amazed me.  They saw the blessing in these little (too short) lives they had been given.

Then I went to Facebook.

Over and over there was entry after entry indicating how life just sucked!  Yes, really!  This and that happened  – woe is me, my life is awful.  Why me, over and over.  It’s so hard, etc.  I tell you, I was actually sick to my stomach.

So…

I’m wondering why.

Why do some stay positive through the worst that life has to offer and some see only the negative in every situation in their life.

Why?

 Of course there are as many answers as there are people, and I wouldn’t be so bold to answer that for anyone else but myself.  For me it’s a matter of getting out of my own way, recognizing the Christ presence within me and doing my best each day to live life from that point – NO MATTER WHAT SHOWS UP.  Interestingly enough, since I’ve been doing that, what’s been showing up has been pretty darn good.  Coincidence? I think not.

These little girls make me happy every day.

I guess it’s all in how we choose to greet each day.

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11 Comments

  1. i lost my whole family one by one by illness and tragic accidents when i was quite young. at some point it hits you, you either give up and let it take you down or you realize this happens for a reason and you learn and grow from it. as horrible as my history is, i am a much better person for having lived through all of it.

    Reply
    • Ellen Beeton

       /  January 15, 2012

      Thanks for your comment, and I want to tell you how sorry I am for all your loss at such a young age. I know for sure it had a big part in creating who you are now and who you are now is pretty fantastic.

      Reply
  2. It is definitely not a coincidence. I firmly believe in positive thinking. Although I haven’t had any family tragedies (knock on wood) lately, I have had to go through a tough patch here and there, and I always felt that they were for one reason or another and that something better waited for me on the other side.

    Reply
    • Ellen Beeton

       /  January 15, 2012

      Thanks Finn, or maybe Finn’s mom, right? I’ve lived through many years of negativity and being positive has changed my life.

      Reply
  3. Oh my, I wouldn’t even begin to try to answer this one. I am not always as positive as I should be, and I guess I don’t always have faith when I should have, because I am a “worrier”. I have always been told that if you have faith, then you don’t worry. I think it is only human to worry about some things. Anyhoo, we could get into a whole other story with the worry topic I suppose. I’m not sure how “strong” I would be if I lost a child to a disease of any kind. I have miscarried, and I have lost a pet of 18 years, and I can remember praying day and night. I am so fortunate that I have never lost those close to me, except for grandparents that were almost 90 years old. I know the day is coming when I will lose someone very important to me, it is bound to. I have no idea how I will handle it, but I pray that I can. Oh enough of my babbling. My girls keep me very happy too! I know I show Sophie a lot, but I don’t show Dixie that much. She is 18 years old, and very difficult to deal with at times. Your babies are little dolls!

    Reply
    • Ellen Beeton

       /  January 15, 2012

      Hi Theresa, I know what you mean about worry. I work on that all the time. I’m usually not worrying about me, but moreso about family members. I do my best to stop it immediately because I don’t want to put more negative energy in the middle of what they are going through. Besides, I have found that my worrying hasn’t made a bit of difference.

      Reply
  4. I think it’s all a matter of perspective. Those women suffering from the tragic death of their children, had the endless suffering their children were going through to compare their death to. It’s awful that they died, and it’s terrible what the mother is going through, but no mother wants to see the pain and suffering of their children. Compared to the illness, the death was kinder. (I’m not saying this is true in these particular cases, just suggesting the perspective.)

    On the other hand, what horrible experiences do these people on facebook have to compare their current tragedy to? In their lives, the worst problem they face is not getting to go to the mall, or getting a bad haircut. In that case, if something a little more serious happens, their life is ruined. It’s their perspective, using their realm of experience. I suspect, though I do not know, that the tragic death of a child is not in their experience.

    Reply
    • Ellen Beeton

       /  January 15, 2012

      You are so right, it is a matter of perspective. Yes, both of the women were feeling blessed that their children would no longer suffer. I do believe however that a lot of kids now days believe they are so entitled and when the least little thing goes wrong, their life is ruined. I think that’s pretty sad.

      Reply
  5. I totally agree with you…there is such power in positive thinking!! Dogs bring us so much love and that is why I choose to share my life with them! I think your realization also shows us that is is much healthier for us to blog…than it is to spend time on Facebook!! I had a similar observation…and I don’t spend anywhere near the time over there that I used to! Happy Monday!!
    xo
    Jeanne

    Reply
  6. I agree with you. It is all a matter of how you look at things. I’m sure we could all moan and whine about this or that. Instead I try (key word: try) to get up each morning and accept a new day and all that it has to offer with a smile and a positive attitude. Perhaps those that whine and complain have never had to endure a painful struggle with a loved one?

    Reply
  7. You are a wonderful, positive person and it’s lovely to read your sweet posts. I read a quote the other day that said, “There is nothing so difficult, so hard, so miserable that whining about it won’t make it worse.” It made me laugh. I’ve had people say to me, “After all you’ve been through, how do you stay so positive?” and my answer is always, “Because being negative feels rotten and I refuse to let the world decide how I will act.” Feels much better that way…much more in control.
    Good for you, for spreading sunshine.
    Thanks. :}

    Reply

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